Like the rest of the world, I was forced into solitude this March when COVID hit the US. I went from weekly 6am flights to New York or Philadelphia for sales pitches, rushing kids to evening soccer practice, and midnight, end of fiscal quarter scrambles to secure orders, to sudden solitude and silence. 
 
Rather than embrace this time for reflection, I found myself in a frantic hurry to consume the latest information on COVID, race relations, and politics. I built contempt for those who disagreed with me and got to the point I was scrolling for no reason. Rather than embracing the solitude and silence, I fled from it. 
 
There is an island off the east coast of Ireland called the Skellig Michael. It is a uniquely isolated and rocky place because it is the first part of Ireland that strikes the Atlantic Ocean. In the sixth century, a group of monks yearned for solitude with God so much that they created a monastery on this island for uninterrupted prayer and closeness with God. They suffered Viking raids, rocky isolation, and severe deprivation in their pursuit. To them, isolation was a gift to be pursued. 
 
In this article, I’ll share the links and resources I’ve found this summer as I’ve focused on silence and solitude. The process had no small impact on our decision to move to Gainesville, FL.

After months of isolation, we finally took a drive during the summer to Florida. The drive back from Florida was 17 hours, and I picked up an absolute gem of an audiobook for the ride: Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. This one-minute video describes it perfectly. 

The basic idea is that the only way we can be truly separate from the crazy world we live in, is to eliminate hurry from our lives. He advocates for slowing down, being intentional, and practicing silence and solitude. The book hit me hard, and I immediately took a weekend to visit a Benedictine Monastery over a weekend to begin to follow the advice from the book. (Links below to where I stayed). 

I have a demanding career and like to stay busy, but I want to find deep purpose in my life, work and relationships. I want to the kind of old man that can sit with you, stare you right in the eyes, and be at peace. I want to be focused on others, without anxiety. That won’t happen if I’m constantly striving for something new or living in fear. 

Here are some great resources and stories that are helping me in the journey: 

  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Another great book on the topic I read this summer is from Pastor Pete Scazzero out of New Jersey called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. This book is extremely practical on how to create healthy rhythms in your life towards being emotionally healthy through silence and solitude. The ideas is that “The vast majority of us go to our graves without knowing who we are we unconsciously live someone else’s life or at least someone else’s expectations for us.” We discover who we are in the silent place. 
  • Chicago Monk: Another great strategy is chanting the psalms. I visited a Chicago Benedictine Monastery for a weekend (https://chicagomonk.org). I woke up with the monks at 3am to chant the psalms, and returned five times a day. If you’re in Chicago, you should absolutely visit this monastery. The guesthouse is literally free for visitors, and the monks are extremely helpful in explaining the services. They’re lives are inspirational. I’ve taken to adding some of the rhythms of their life into mine. Put simply, I chant two psalms to start my day after I journal. It’s a way to have scripture wash over my soul. Here’s an example of how it sounds.
  • Digital Minimalism: One of the most talented writers I’ve ever read, Cal Newport, also released hi NY Times Bestseller, Digital Minimalism, in 2019. This is another great read for practical tips on decluttering our digital lives.
  • The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel: This is a spiritual classic on the value of the sabbath and the value of “laying aside the profanity of clattering commerce.” The thesis is that the value of the Sabbath and rest is not for the purpose of becoming more fit for labor, but rather, that the Sabbath is the ‘the end of the creation of heaven and earth.’
  • Into Great Silence (2-Hour Documentary): This documentary is incredible. There are no words or music, simply the elemental flowing of monastic life. The filmmaker films a group of Carthusian monks in the beautiful French Alps that have taken oaths of silence in surrender to God.
  • The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence: This book is very short with easy-to-read chapters on meditation and gratitude. Brother Lawrence was a monk famous for doing the dishes in his monastery and his focus on intimacy with God.
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t stop Talking by Susan Cain:  Full transparency, I have not read this book yet, but it was recommended by Jason Fried, founder of Basecamp. Jason Fried is a well-respected thinker in Silicon Valley based out of Chicago famous for his theories on remote work, the end of the meeting, and work-life balance. The title is catchy enough that I figured to include it based on the well-respected recommendation.