First Impressions Don’t Matter

I was talking to a young man beginning his career recently. He has embarked on a new concern and is filled with worry about making a good first impression. 

I told him first impressions do not matter. 

They do not. And now more than ever. 

First impressions are exactly that: first impressions. Nothing more. In business, first impressions can be job interviews, sales pitches, or executive meetings. They can also be an overall first year’s performance, a presentation delivery, or a cohort. 

Careers are built with unique skills learned over time, being a consistent and reliable person, and bringing a growth mindset to the task at hand. Careers are not built on lucky first impressions, wearing our hair in a certain way, or the way we smiled. This is true now more than ever in the history of the world. 

Careers are long and are growing longer. 

Half of all children born today in the United States and Europe are going to reach their 103rd or 104thbirthday. Our 50s and 60s are emerging as creative and powerful career decades that our 30s and 40s used to be. This trend has already started. People aged 55-64 started 23.5% of all new businesses in the US in 2012, up from 14.3% in 1996. Having a longer view of our career can help us not take failure personally, be excited when our colleagues are promoted (not jealous), and create good work we can be proud of knowing we have a long time to showcase it. 

Rejection is part of every great career.

No one opportunity is the end-all opportunity, so we should seek rejection because we know it causes us to grow. The more rejection we face, the stronger we become. Rejection teaches us what our customers want, the language of the industry, and the skills of doing the job.

Worrying about first impressions creates a zero-sum mindset. 

If we are so set on making a great first impression, we will think of the opportunity in front of us as the only opportunity in a land of scarcity. Putting this pressure on ourselves makes us nervous. It can lead us to not be a cheerleader for others and cause us to do things we think are wrong to get what we want. Seeing first meetings as opportunities to grow gives us energy, curiosity, and courage no matter the outcome.

First impressions do not matter, and we need to stop telling young people they do. 

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